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The Epsilon Program Of GTA V



/ 4 years ago

GTAV

Religion, Cult, GTA V, or is it just a screen saver?

Today Rockstar gave us a video on Newswire making us ask the question? What is this really?

Upon further inspection I found this website, that appears to be giving us religious propaganda, this really is nothing new with a GTA game, if you have played one you would know that they are very odd and unusual! The website gave us no more information as to what KIFFLOM really is, but I think it is safe to assume that KIFFLOM will be a new faction in which we will interact with within the new GTA V.

Who knows there might become a REAL religious following for KIFFLOM! To join KIFFLOM and become one of the children of Kraff, you must be blindfolded, and then recite the words: “Take me to to my father-father, brother-uncle. Kifflom” They will do the rest! There is Kifflom and Krant, both apparently must be praised!

If you’re interested in donating they will even allow you to donate to them! They setup a special Cayman Islands banking account to protect the money you donate to the cause, and they are working on setting up a PayPal donation account as well!

The 12 Goals of Epsilonism

  • We are making an assault on happiness
  • We will be generous, in ways that are upwards and ways that are manifest
  • The Goals of Epsilonism will continue to be revealed in due time. Kifflom.

The Epsilonist Pledge

  • All good things come from Kraff, that is the fact on which Epsilonism is built.
  • Epsilonism is a Science as well as a religion – in fact we are the only religion that is also a science and which is concerned with seeking out truth.
  • As real truth seekers, we are willing to pay to make the search go better, in this way we are investing in our future.
  • The Pledge will continue to be revealed in due time. Kifflom.

The 12 Tenets of Kifflom

  • The world is 157 years old – FACT!
  • Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak – FACT!
  • You are happy, you just don’t know it – FACT!
  • We all come from the same tree – FACT!
  • Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair – FACT!
  • Sperm does not exist – it is a lie spread by biology teachers – along with everything else you have ever been told – FACT!
  • Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except for in July, when they must lie with five men a day – FACT!
  • Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm – FACT!
  • Trees talk, but only some people hear them – FACT!
  • People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure – FACT!
  • If you believe this and turn your hands and wallet over to EPSILONISM, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed – FACT!

Kifflom – Happiness Is Yours! Kifflom!

If you didn’t know this, maybe you should read the Epsilon Tract.

Are you ready to play GTA V, you still must wait, but you can start practising Epsilonism right away!

The release date for Xbox 360 and PS3 has been set for September 17th, 2013 leaving PC gamers to wait for a yet to be released date!

Source / Source /Source 


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  • Gareth

    This is just one of the recurring GTA themes. It’s an advert on the Lazlo show since (I think) GTA:SA. They are simply expanding on an old idea.
    http://gta.wikia.com/Epsilon_Program