Before Patches, Broken Games Were Broken Forever




/ 6 months ago
Before Patches, Broken Games Were Broken Forever... Such as These Dumpster Fires

Broken Games

People complain about patches and updates, but are they really that bad? Well, sometimes yes they are. I’ll admit, I love the idea of having my games fixed and improved after release. Unfortunately, it’s more a system for developers to ship a game unfinished then fix it after the fact… While I think you’ll admit, is a bit of a d*** move.

However, things used to be so much worse in the pre-patch days. When a game on the Sega Megadrive was broken, that was it, it was broken forever. Your only hoped was that they’d do a better job on the sequel, if it ever got one.

The internet age has brought us the option to fix our games. To find people in the same situation that may have a solution. Even to share our own mods and fixes for games when the developer can’t get their finger out of their… well, you get the idea.

Myth II: Soulblighter

What was wrong with this game I hear you cry? It’s a damn classic, and we all love it. However, it had quite a serious system breaking bug. When you were done playing the game and wanted to uninstall. If you installed it to the root of your drive, it’ll uninstall your entire system too… WHOOPS!

Superman 64

This was just flatout broken in every way you can imagine. You you literally put your fist through an enemy and miss. Enemies would reload without firing, while also being literally stuck where they stand. The controls were broken, the graphics were dreadful, as was the framerate. The whole thing was a bugged mess, and absolutely unforgiving. One error? Back to the start of the level. If there’s gaming in hell, this is it.

Sonic 06

This one was pretty poor even for a 3D sonic game. Sure, it had a rocking sound track and some innovative ideas. However, it was rushed for a Christmas release and launched very much unfinished and tested. The game breaking and instant death scenery glitches were everywhere. To make matters worse, the fixes were created for the game in the demo, but never made it to the retail release; salt rubbing deep into the wound.

Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

Where the hell do I begin. This game is actually a bit of a cult classic for being so god damn broken. There is literally no AI on the other racers. It’s impossible to lose this game. If you TRY to lose the game your opponents will stop dead at the finish line until you pass and win. There’s even a glitch that gives you a win for passing the STARTING LINE! Truck to slow? Drive backwards, as you can accelerate infinitely in reverse. You even go faster uphill than you do on a straight. You can drive through buildings due to no collision detection what so ever. And let’s not forget the “YOU’RE WINNER!” message. Bloody hell, I could write a whole article covering the rest. You get the idea.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The DOS version of this game was literally impossible. They managed to make a game with a jump that was too big to cross. This meant you couldn’t progress in the game. They fixed it in the UK release, but for others… no such luck.

Image result for tmnt impossible jump

Viewtiful Joe 2 – PlayStation 2 demo that would completely corrupt your save memory card.

EVE Online: Trinity – Update would delete the boot.ini file.

(Dis)Honourable Mentions!

Let’s not forget the wonder that was Viewtiful Joe 2 on the PlayStation 2. If you played the demo, it had a lovely bug that would corrupt your entire memory card. Good bye almost complete God of War 2… ARGH! Then there’s the magic of EVE Online: Trinity Update, which would wipe your systems boot.ini… didn’t need that anyway, right? Or Aliens: colonial Marines for ever being released.

What do you Think?

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