A Chinese Newspaper Issues Nuclear Attack Survival Tips

Chinese provincial Newspaper issues full-page advice sheet on how to survive a nuclear attack

How to survive a nuclear attack? Be as far away from it as possible. That would be my advice if I was asked. A Chinese provincial newspaper has, however, issued a full-page spread, along with cartoons, advising its residents as to how best to survive a nuclear attack.

China being China, if a provincial paper has printed this, it very likely means that this has the full government backing.

While being at least 100 miles away is a good start, the article is (not surprisingly) upbeat about your chances. Being not much better than America’s 1950’s ‘duck and cover’ approach it at least does give some general advice that while likely will be completely useless, does at least sound sensible.

Incidentally, while North Korea has not specifically been mentioned, we all know who they are warning against here.

So, what is the advice?

In a report via the Independent, the advice suggests the following top tips.

1. If you are outside when the attack happens, try and hide in a ditch.
2. If no ditch is available, try jumping underwater to avoid ‘immediate death’.
3. Wear light clothing. White if possible (presuming it has survived the blast).

Hiding in an underground vault, incidentally, is not mentioned.

The above cartoon is meant to demonstrate the means in which you can get the radiation out of your system as quickly as possible. This includes, washing, inducing vomiting and even drinking a lot so that you pee.

Regarding the peeing business though, it does kind of overlook the issue if the water is irradiated. Therefore, drinking it would be the worst thing you could do.

Like ‘duck and cover’ the chances that this advice sheet will be of any practical usage is slim. Hopefully, though, that chance is no greater than there actually being a nuclear war.

While I have seen better advice, it’s not the first to make me smile.