Footage Allegedly Shows Who Damaged Hitchbot!

We wrote an article yesterday (August 3^rd 2015) concerning how a poor defenceless robot by the name of Hitchbot was damaged by an unknown assailant on the mean streets of Philadelphia. This was a shame as this project offered an insight into our relationship with artificial machines, but we now have a possible lead with footage which appears to show who dominated the robot.

A Vlogger by the name of Jesse Wellens posted the footage which is below to Snapchat, it shows a lone man who no doubt was born and raised in this state, in a sports jersey repeatedly kicking Hitchbot until it falls to the ground. According to the time code, this individual allegedly kicks the machine at 5:46am in the morning with the date being (Saturday 1^st August). It must be rather difficult to explain this without looking slightly insane, “where were you?” “After maxin’ relaxin in a playground, I beat a travelling robot to death”.

If this is genuine then it seems rather pointless to attack a robot out of the blue, it also shows careless disregard for the team behind this project who have spent many an hour planning every detail of these trips. If this is the perpetrator then it will be interesting to note if he will be charged with any offence, after all, apart from petty vandalism to property belonging to someone else, there are no current laws which include assault on a robot. If anyone recognises this alleged individual then his life will no doubt be flipped and turned upside down.

We have been warned by scientists to expect a rise of the machine overlords, if this happens then I know who the first target will be for enslaving.

Thank you to Gizmodo for providing us with this information.