Ron Jeremy Thinks Video Games Are Rotting Kids’ Brains

/ 3 years ago

super hornio bros

Esteemed social commentator and occasional porn artiste Ron Jeremy has pulled his nose out from the latest issue of Scientific American to make a most profound, pioneering declaration regarding the effects of video games on children. Jeremy, one of the most divergent thinkers of our time and star of Super Mario porn parody Super Hornio Bros., has proclaimed that video games are making kids stupid. Apart from the Asian kids, that is, who are “kicking our ass,” according to Jeremy. So, just white males, then. But they’re the only gamers that matter, right?

In an interview with Vice, Jeremy spoke long and hard about video games – falling into the familiar porn trope of ‘size matters’ – giving us his informed, measured, and definitely-not-racist opinion as a former schoolteacher(!?) on the detrimental effect games have on kids. Jeremy said:

“I don’t play them at all, except when I go to Hugh Hefner’s mansion. He has some video games in the back room. Other than that, I never play video games ever. I think they’re boring. As a former schoolteacher, Asians are kicking our ass! While our kids are drinking beer, and playing video games, Asians are getting high SAT scores. If you look at Harvard, Yale, Stanford, it’s almost all Asian and Scandinavian. [Vice Editor’s Note: This isn’t true.] Not a lot of Americans there, and it’s on our soil. It’s just weird. Nothing wrong with video games recreationally, but our kids are living on it. You know, not even reading books anymore.”

You heard him, kids: forget games, read books, and one day you might be as clever as the mythical “Asian” that doesn’t exist.

Thank you Vice for providing us with this information.

Image courtesy of Eurogamer.

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