Study Claims PC Gamers Better Than Console Gamers at Sex

Content warning: contains the words “sex”, “sexer”, and “sexing”.

Ask any experienced sexer what they prefer in the bedroom, and their answer will invariably be, “mouse and keyboard beats controller every time,” with a cheeky wink. It seems that famous innuendo has more than a kernel of truth to it, with a recent survey confirming that PC gamers are indeed better at sexing than console players.

The study, conducted by MyVoucherCodes to determine the effects that gaming has on relationships, polled 2,747 partners of gamers, asking them their other half’s preferred gaming platform and to score their sexual satisfaction with said partner.

Across partners of all gamers, PC Master Race and console gamers alike, 11% rated their partner as “Excellent”, 27% said “Good”, 26% as “Average”, and a pitiable 20% scored “Below Average”. But, when broken down into PC versus console, the figures skewed in favour of the former, with 22% of PC gamers rated as “Excellent” and 54% as “Good”. Compare that to the under-par performance of console sexers, who scored a respectable 47% for “Good”, but an embarrassing 3% for “Excellent”.

Poor Console Peasants, it’s not just their framerates that are low. “Blessed are the PC Master Race, for they shall inherit the Earth.” Even Jesus knew.

However, a warning for every class of gamers: 21% of people polled wanted “more sex, less gaming”. PC gamers, you have a gift. Share it with your partner, at every opportunity, and no we don’t just mean LAN gaming.

Image courtesy of EliteLimo